self reflect

due to recent event, i'd like to share some thought. well its more like talking to my self actually.

i wont tell you what's the event that drives to this post.but here's what i learn so far.
we tend to underestimate(if not forgetting) the power of positive thinking. when things go bad we take actions,saying stuff as if every other facts doesn't exist.it seems like its always been bad and never did any good to us.we make it a reason to hurt others.feels like the only solution is to scream.shout,shuts off, or walk away.and i think i did that too many times.

im not a positive person my self but for the past few months im trying to be more positive. im trying to look behind the mess.im tying to look for more than what it seems.somebody once said to me:

"you're mad and it seems like shit.take time and look for the good stuff.im pretty sure you're have a long list of bad stuffs.but think about this,is that list really how it is or just one side of the story?you dont wanna make wrong decision based on the wrong judgement from half the facts..remember the good stuff.bad things are evrywhere but good stuff is what keeping you from making decision you'll regret."

at first,i didn't agree with this saying.what if the good stuff keeps you trapped in the situation you shoud've just get out from.what if the good stuff is an ancient fact that has changed.but then i realize its not the point. seeing the good stuff is to make sure whatever decisions,words,actions you take is the right one.looking for good stuff is for you to see the whole problem.because a judgement ths is based on what you;re only half understar is never good.

so i try to to look for the positives.it's not easy.in fact,its really really hard.but i dont want to make a wrong decision for something important.and my father once said its whats the difference between a little boy and a man.you make decision based on whats fact. i once said to someone i hate 'when you make desicions,think about what youll lose instead of what youll get'. now i know more than ever that it's true.

so far i think the effect is good.i cant say i've done it right but im trying and it gives me calm.seing things entirely(and posiviely) makes me think clearer.hopefully i can solve the problem and eventually this kind of thinking can make me a better person.

wish me luck!

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tribute to ARMOR FOR SLEEP

another great loss, this is taken from ARMOR FOR SLEEP myspace blog:

 Thursday, October 29, 2009
   
so long, and thanks for all the fish!
D.Neeht,


it's been a little over a year since our last tour and some of you out there have kind of figured out whats been going on with us. we never wanted to burden you all with a formal announcement of any kind and cause some type of commotion- we just thought it would be better to kind of drift away nice and easy… i am writing this strictly speaking for myself and i honestly don't really know how pj anthony and nash will react to me being the one to write this, but i feel like it should come from me because ultimately it was me who decided it was best to leave things where they were. to me a song is like a snapshot of a moment, real or made-up, and the band that takes that snapshot is like a camera. i was really happy and proud of the pictures that came out of our little camera, but i would have much rather put in on a shelf for me and all of us to look at with fond memories than to feel this intense need to make it take high-def panoramic mosaics when maybe it was constructed to handle polaroid film. it's as simple as that. i guess someone could examine our inter-personal relationships and weird habits and attribute them to the reason for this decision, but we were like brothers and no clash was ever too great to slow us down. i hope that time won't obscure that fact…i know it won't for me. that being said, i think the real and only reason i am writing this is for you who have been fans of armor for sleep. even though it hasn't been a secret that we are not working on an album or touring, it has felt really weird to not come out and say that the needles been lifted from the record. you have always been so amazing to us and i know through all of our fancy little internet avenues we will always be able/willing/not creeped out/ to talk about life, death, armor tabliture, the needler, whatever your little hearts desire. pj anthony and nash are all amazing people who i've witnessed first hand probably more than anyone in the world as being super talented at whatever they do and i know whatever they choose to do will be amazing. i know you'll have their backs just as i will. as for me, i have been hard at work cooking something up. i have a new camera. i never like to blab about stuff until its ready and for this reason i wasn't giving play by play updates when it was still in its complete infancy…but i will get into it more very soon. i'm really excited, and for me as someone who has been working a long time at the art of writing songs and having these weird visions about how i see a band being presented, i feel like i've put lots of pieces together from the terabytes worth of experiences i've lived through…i know some people will probably always want to hear dream to make believe or something no matter what i'm doing, which is fine, but time is an arrow and i'm not going to try and argue with that…i know i will always  be myself and no matter what camera i'm behind i know you'll always recognize the hands holding it. thank you to everyone who's been supportive and listened to anything i've been  a part of in any facet. i can't wait to tell you more about things to come. Check back in about a week for something new…
-ben

for those who know me, im sure you all know how i like this band. armor for sleep is another great influence in my life. if they make movie about me armorforsleep, copeland, mae, sherwood, and the graduate will definitely be in the soundtrack. i listend to AFS long before mae,i think it was the end of 2003. but i cant be sure, its been countless time i listen to their record. now that their broke up, its such a great loss..first copeland, then armor for sleep.my friend said 'music die in 2009'

so if you read my last post you probably know that i'm posting lyrics from copeland to honor them because they just broke up. so there's change of plan due to another great loss.these 30 days i will be posting lyrics either from COPELAND or ARMOR FOR SLEEP...

goodluck guys,please make another great music.ARMOR FOR SLEEP will always be one of my favorite band..

'don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die'

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tribute to COPELAND

29th of october this note was released from copeland facebook page:

Dear friends,

We have come to an extremely difficult decision. It has come time for us to move on from Copeland and follow other paths in our lives. We are absolutely grateful to have been able to make music for as long as we have. In the last 9 years we've been able to see parts of the world that we never dreamt we would see. We have shared the stage and built friendships with immensely talented artists. We've been afforded the opportunity to make 4 records that we're extremely proud of. Most of all, we feel honored that people have cared so much for our band and for our art. We appreciate every listener who has allowed our music to be a part of their lives. We want to offer our deepest thanks to every individual who has supported us on this ride. It has profoundly impacted our lives.

To put your minds at ease, we assure you this is not a bitter break up. We all individually feel Copeland has run its course in our lives and it’s time for us to pursue what is next. We couldn’t end things without a proper goodbye, so we are planning a final farewell tour in the US this coming Spring, as well as one final jaunt around the world to some of our favorite countries. We are really excited about seeing you all one more time, and we hope it turns out to be the best Copeland tour ever.

It has been discussed and we are not ruling out the possibility of recording one more album sometime in the future. However, this spring tour will be our last.

From the bottom of hearts, thank you for all of your love and support.

Aaron, Bryan, Jon & Stephen



COPELAND is one of my all time favorite band. i really want to catch them live and now they're breaking up. this is so sad to be honest. thinking back to the old days the first time i got their song. copeland has such a strong influence to me trough through music and lyric. i remember all those times i listen to them in my car while driving..

but anyway, i wish them good luck for what ever in front of them. and im looking forward to see their next project. i really hope whatever it is, its going to be as great as copeland. but copeland will always stays one of my all time favorite and dream concert line up..

so to honor them, from this day on i will post their song title/lyric in my facebook status every night for 30 days..

i wish you guys all the luck. and even tough this is such a sad ending i hope this can be a good start for something else..may copeland lives forever through their songs and those whose live influenced by them..

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playground and workstation

so you guys probably know that i have some kind of addiction with computer (who doeasnt'?). computer is my entertainment and yet it's where i work, do my assignmnets, some projects and other stuff..okay i'm not going to talk about that right now..

two days ago my mom asked me how i arrange all my tools (20" iMac, 13" MacBook white, Logitech V470 cordless mouse, and wacom Intuos4 medium size) in my insanely small single room at desaria villa condo A-09-10 (yeeah!). so here it goes how it looks like...(click for full view)


lets start with play ground!


this is how it looks like from my bed. all of this is on the side of my bed so this is the first thing i see everytime i open my eyes in the morning.


another view from higher angle.

now this is the work station!






so thats my playground and workstation..

COVERS, COVERS!

okay, heres the thing. i woke up this morning, turning on my iTunes trying to find songs to listen to this whole day (i have no clas today yeeeaaaaay!). then i realize im so damn bored. and since there's nothing much of good stuff from my resources (oh yeah i like to download stuff from web. blame Mtv for playing garbage instead of provides us with good music.besides, do you know pracy prevents global warming?when you download songs you reduce the waste of producing cd!). so i tried a different things, covers.

do you know how many covers in youtube? let's admit it most of them sucks.but not all of them. can you imagine how many talented people who have no money to go major, or producing demo and stuff? how many music-genius just want to stay untouched by the industry so they can make their music freely?or some people who just great?

okay so i go search on youtube, now lets pretend im a bilionare who wants to save the world from Mtv and their suck music invasion. i going to choose these two artists (so far,i think i'll do some more searcing). i think they're going to be great. people will like them and they're going to sell. they have the looks and the talent. i dont mind good looking musician. it's not wrong if you're good looking as long as you got the talent. what's wrong is if you're a singer and the only things you sell is your face, body, and what you're wearing. now i;d like to introduce them to you guys..

here it goes..







okay,thats from me.let me know what you guys think..and if you know more good cover artist please let me know...

some will seek forgiveness,others escape

its a song by underOath, i don't know about the lyrics but the title is the first thing i remember after i finished watching this video. and i have to say this video really moves me.



please reflect this video with your life.too many times we say things that hurt those we care the most. too many times we make mistakes. and yet it's too hard to say the words like 'im sorry'. how many times we feel like 'i just can't forgive'. it seems forgiveness has lost its meaning. forgiving is one of the hardest thing to do. it is a big word and its never lost its meaning.

it's us who lost the meaning of 'forgive'.

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dirty off white

so this is my 2nd post,and this time lets talk about something lighter..

'converse'

I'm sure you all know what it is. i don't think any shoes can get anymore popular than this one. converse has been around since 1917. just in case you don't know, I'm such a big fan of this shoes. i have a pair of low top off-white (some might say milk white) converse now and this is my 3rd pair for this design.i think low top off-white is the best piece converse has ever design. for me, there's nothing more to ask. super comfy, timeless design, cheap, and you can wear almost anything with this shoes.

i read an article about 'how to keep your converse clean' (you can search Google I'm sure you'll get tons of result) and i just don't get it. whats the point f wearing converse if you intending to keep it clean. i know its personal opinion, but for me the art of wearing converse is to trash it. there's no better converse than a trashed converse.

but that's just my opinion,and thats not what i want to talk about.

i don't know if you notice this, but i wear converse constantly since like forever. and i notice that converse this day is different from the way it was several years ago. first time i notice this was 2006. the different feeling is the bottom part is became less soft and thinner. while from the look, the rubber part in front became shorter and more roundish.

to be honest i'm a bit dissapointed and miss the old ones. but even until now i dont even know why it happen. i know that Converse was bought by Nike in 2003, and i know they change the fabric from 2-ply cotton to 1-ply "textile". but is this the reason? because i think the significant difference is at the rubber part, not the fabric. even if it is the problem why i didn't notice the difference before 2006? because i remember i bought my 1'st off white converse in 2004 and it was the way i always remember how converse feels like.

im curious..so if you have any information regarding that matter please tell me..or better yet, if you know where can i get the old converse please please please please please do tell me..

ps:
i'll post some pictures of the shoes later. it's 1:25 in the morning. guess now is not the right time to take pictures of anything rite?

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first post about myself and my tought

okay, ini posting-an blog gw yang pertama. ini tentang 2 blog post temen gw yang bikin gw tertarik banget untuk ikut nuangin pikiran gw..ini link nya:

http://sumasiapa.blogspot.com/2009/10/kenyataan-part-1.html
http://sumasiapa.blogspot.com/2009/10/kenyataan-part-2.html

gw idup di jakarta selama 19 tahun idup gw tapa tau dunia luar. sampe kuliah, gw ke malaysia. gw ketemu banyak banget orang yang macem-macem backgroundnya. dari daerah-dearah di indo sampe orang-orang afrika dan segala macemnya. tapi gw gak mau ngebahas soal mereka sekarang, gw cua mau ngebahas culture anak-anak jakarta pada umunya.

gw sering banget dibilang typical anak bandel. gw g tau itu bener apa engga, tp yang jelas gw udh terbiasa sm dunia gw. ngatain orang dan ngomong kasar udh jadi bagian dr definisi 'have fun' buat gw dan temen-temen gw. ada periode dimana gw 'minum', ngerokok, nyimeng, dan segala macemnya deh. dan gw yakin kebanyakan orang-orang disekitar gw bakal bilang

'biasa lah itu anak cowo emg harus nyobain bandel'

dan jujur gw bersyukur banget gw ngelewatin itu. gw punya pengalaman yang bisa gw ceriatin. hidup gw g cuma nurutin norm yang berlaku. gw gak ngelakuin itu semua biar dibilang keren. karna sekarangpun gw udah gak pernah ngelakuin kebanyakan dari hal-hal itu. tp atleast gw punya pengalaman itu.

skr klo lo baca link yang td gw kasih, which i assume u did klo lo udh baca smpe sini, gw g tau gimana perasaan lo tp jujur gw ngerasa agak ketampar.

1. "bukan saya egois lho ya, saya ber-aku/kamu karena saya ga mau lo/gw jadi alesan untuk bisa bersosialisasi, dibilang kaya pacaran aja lah, ini lah itu lah, terserah deh ahahaha. kamu masih bisa ber aku/kamu ko lagi pula menurut saya lebih terdengar sopan. jadi kenapa ber-aku/kamu? karena aku ga mau "jadi" orang jakarta hanya untuk berkomunikasi hehehe"
   
   masih inget g sih lo kapan terakhir lo peduli apa omongan lo sopan apa engga?in general yah,klo ngomong sm bokap nyokap lo sih ya mungkinitu lo udah biasa.apa jangan-jangan ngomong sm mereka juga lo udh g sopan?..'jadi kenapa ber-aku/kamu? karena aku ga mau "jadi" orang jakarta hanya untuk berkomunikasi'..apa udah separah itukah?segitu kasarnya orang jakarta?..coba kita liat di point yang abis ini
   
   
   
2. "saya ga pernah sama sekali gunanin kata "anjing" diluar bentuk aslinya. yak itu benar saya ga pernah ngumpat (bener ya ini?) pake kata2 itu, never in my entire life!.same goes to kata2 laen yang sifatnya "begitu" seperti fu*k, sh*t, ng*nt*t, bangs*t dan laen laennya."
   
   sadar gak lo klo 'anjng' itu emang kasar?gw yakin lo ngomong itu smua udah smpe reflex.gak make mkir dan rasanya biasa aja.karna jujur gw kaya gt,dan gw liat di sekeliling gw jg mereka kaya gitu..
   
   
   
3. "gak ngerokok?minum?drugs?never do, never will. cupu? darimana bisa dapet kesimpulan itu? ini mungkin hal yang paling sering aku sebut2. sudah jelas apa akibatnya kalo kita ngeroko, minum, ato ngedrugs. salah banget bung kalo hal2 itu jadi alasan buat pergaulan ato identitas."
   
   ini hal yang biasa banget di sekeliling gw. dan jujur aja, pasti kita malah bakal heran klo ada org yang engga?ngejudge mereka cupu itu reaksi yang common banget..tp gw jadi mikir,emg sh itu enak tp apa segitu enaknya smpe kita g peduli efek jeleknya?..buat identitas?biar gak cupu?klo gw pikir lagi,kayaknya justru udh terlalu banyak orang yang ngelakuin itu semua.justru org yang berani bilang engga itu org yg punya identitas.punya prinsip.dan bisa berpikir jauh lebih dewasa.

gw bukan mau ngejudge apapun, who am i to change whats been there for so long?itu udh jd culture,bagian dari kehidupan kita. cm menurut gw ada baiknya, kta anak-anak jakarta coba renungin dulu ke-'jakarta'-an kita..bayangin 10 taun dr skr,pgn gak sih lo dengan bangga bilang 'i've always made the right choice'?apa lo mau liat anak" lo nanti ngomong nya udh g ada sopan santunnya, kerjanya mabok nge-drugs sgala macem?..

mungkin lo nganggep gw sok tua sok biak ato apapun dh. gw g munafik ko, gw jg ngelakuin semua yang gw tulis diatas.tp gw g boong, ngeliat ada orang kaya suma gw iri. orang-orang kaya dia bisa punya prinsip yang segitu kuatnya smpe gak kepengaruh sama trend dan lain lainnya. tp di ssi lain dia jg sangat kebuka sm hal-hal disekitarnya dan bisa nerima perbedaan. dia gak ketinggalan jaman ko,dia gak cupu. infact,dia tau hal-hal baru lebih banyak drpd gw dan temen-temen gw.justru gw yang banyak belajar dr dia.jd apa sh kelebihan yag kita punya dengan cara ngomong kita,lifestyle kita?smpe kita bs ngejudge mereka aneh/cupu?

yah,kayaknya gw nulis udah kepanjangan.jadi segini dl deh first post gw.ini cuma pendapat gw sih,apa yang ada di kepala gw ngeliat hal-hal di sekitar gw..oh iya btw,gw nubie di dunia blogging.jd sorry klo ada yang salah..

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